This Is Gospel
by Ryu-and-Lali
Summary: Sometimes, you have to let the one you love go.


**Authors Note: It's been a very long time since I've (Lali) been moved to write anything that wasn't academic in nature. This is part of a series that I'm still working the kinks out of, so please be gentle. Panic! At the Disco was a huge influence. Lyric quotations are prominent. Please, go listen to the music! It will help get what I was going for across.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. I do not own Panic! At the Disco. I do not own "This Is Gospel". I do not own Brendon Urie (but I so totally wish I could have him for a night or two).**

 **Enjoy.**

 **This Is Gospel**

 **By: Ryu-and-Lali**

AC 207

"I won't give up without a fight." Whatever fight he could give to keep her. So much of his past he had finally put behind him. So much of that past that dictated that he was undeserving of love. So much therapy had brought him to the point that he was at now, and here was his future, telling him that she was done with him. Leaving him, that she had been over him for longer than even she herself knew. He'd be damned if he was going to let her go easily.

"If you love me, you will let me go, Zechs." She said softly. She honestly could not take the rejection, or what she was interpreting as rejection "Truth be told, I never was yours."

"Noin, you know that's not true." He tried to pull her into his embrace, and she pulled away from him. Somehow, he knew that this was a battle that he was never going to win, but he knew he had to try and fight. He wanted to keep her. He had to right all the wrongs that he had done by her. Still, in the back of his mind, he knew that he clearly did not deserve this magnificent woman.

"You can't have something you never intended to have. Now, let me go." She turned away from him and walked towards the white sofa in the middle of the room. "Zechs, I've spent years hoping that you'd finally see me. That you'd come to my side and never leave it. I made that promise, but I now see that that is something that I will have to break. I can't keep pretending that this, whatever this is, will ever work."

"They haven't seen the best of us yet." He shot at her. He watched as she sighed and hung her head, her now shoulder length hair falling forward. She slowly turned around to face him, a look of slight amusement.

"The best of us? Of _us?_ " She placed her hands on her hips. "Please tell me what that even means, because the best of _us_ is very far behind us and not tainted by the war that we fought in together." She, of course, meant their time at the Lake Victoria Academy. Both in the top of their class, only she was second. Beyond that, they were both fighting in a war that had already taken so much from both of them. Zechs had lost so much more than she had.

She collapsed on to the sofa, "well?"

He had no answer. How could he. He had spent the better part of a decade ignoring her, or just giving in to some of her advances. He did love her, he always had loved her. They practically grew up together, but he never felt he deserved her. She loved him unconditionally, or at least she did, and now he wanted to understand what had happened. Unless, unless she had fallen in love with someone else.

"Who is he?" He asked quietly, staring at her on the sofa. Her violet eyes met his for a few moments and then flicked away quickly.

"You insufferable bastard." She muttered with a slight laugh and shake of her head. She knew that he'd come to that conclusion. How could he not? She was nothing but loyal to him for years, but that was what she had been telling herself to make this break up easier on herself. She just wondered how long she had had feelings for the other man that was in her life. Even if for short spurts of time.

Zechs wasn't sure what he should do at this point. On one hand, he didn't want to lose her, but on the other hand, perhaps she was right. He loved her, that was never going to change, but he didn't like the timing. He was finally at a place in his life that he could begin to accept himself and all his wrong doings, and begin to fully love not only himself, but also her. Now that was all out the window.

"Milliardo, please." She looked up at him. "I can be out of here tonight, I can stay with Relena for a couple of weeks, and then…"

"I honestly don't want to give you up without a fight." He sat down beside her. "But if you have found someone else, then perhaps I'll have to let you go. I'm not going to like it. I'll be jealous of whoever you end up with, because I'll never be able to give you up entirely."

"You're backing down that easily?"

"It's killing me, Lucrezia." He shook his head. "But you're right. I do love you, more than I have ever shown you, but I should let you go. I'll always be here for you."

"That's all I'm asking for, Zechs."

"I'm just sorry I was never able to give you what you deserve, what you needed, what you still need." He paused a moment. "Maybe it's better this way." He was lying, he knew this. He was sure that she knew this.

"Liar." She confirmed. "You gave up sooner than I thought you would."

"If there is someone out there who is going to give you want I cannot, then why should I stand in his way… unless he doesn't know?" He sounded slightly hopeful.

"He does." She looked at the floor. "We've known one another for many years. He was there for me in some of my darkest moments when I thought you were dead." She smiled as she spoke of the young blond who had stolen her heart long before she knew she'd been robbed.

"I wish you all the best, then."


End file.
